Tampa Bay Food Monster

…eating food since 1985.

Posts Tagged ‘arby’s’

Arby’s Grand Turkey Club

Posted by Tampa Bay Food Monster on November 5, 2012

TYPICALLY, change is a good thing. like, changing a poopy diaper, for example. where once there was poopy, now there is none. and this works! because there was a problem before. but then there are times when changes are made to things that don’t necessarily need change. this may be one of those times.

…prepare yourself.

this is where we’ve come. this is the brave, new world you were looking for.

yes, arby’s has changed their logo. and no, this is not my poorly photoshopped guess at what it may be like; this is the actual logo. let’s take a quick trip down memory lane and glance at arby’s former majesty:

yes, now that’s more like it. much is the same, yet much has changed. the font has lost its fun time western style and moved to a simple, clean piece of modern mundanity. the apostrophe has morphed into what i think is supposed to be a meat slicer, ruthlessly cutting into the ‘s’. and the hat itself (it’s supposed to be a hat) has undergone a 3D makeover, in keeping with the recent surge in popularity of three-dimensional media. this effect can be achieved in photoshop elements, or its nearest competitor, MS PAINT. the decision to leave the font two-dimensional is both baffling and distressing, causing my mind to bend in a similar fashion to when i look at an m.c. escher image.

…and i mourn what we’ve lost. the new logo is not great. what was once vaguely recognizable as a hat (from its own all-but-lost origins) is now some floating abstraction. the new font comes at the cost of its old identity. it’s no wendy’s train wreck, but it’s not an improvement.

arby's new thang

it’s not just a logo – it’s a whole rebranding. they are pushing the freshness/sliceness angle, which works for them what with all the slicing they do. and to increase that amount of slicing, they are throwing in a whole new chunk of meat to cut at: turkey bird.

arby’s has introduced three turkey-blasted sandwiches – turkey classic, turkey ‘n cheddar classic, and the grand turkey club. basically, it’s as though this turkey meat is floating alongside the beef meat as just another option. which is a pretty decent idea. in a real-life deli, you get a whole assortment of different kinds of meats, all of which are sliced up right in front of your face. this is the same as that! fresh! variety! etc!

turkey club box

arby’s offered to buy me one of their new sandwiches. to check out dat new meat. i opted for the grand turkey club, assuming “grand” meant that it was the best. the other sandwiches are pretty much identical to their beef analogues, with the addition of mayonnaise, honey mustard, or ranch dressing to the classic. the grand turkey club is along the lines of a non-grand turkey club, with turkey, lettuce tomato and mayo, swiss cheese, and bacon all on a harvest wheat bun rather than toast.

the box claims this is the greatest thing since sliced roast beef. there is also lettuce escaping through the bottom, and a dab of mayonnaise has gotten out as well. these are indicators of things to come.

arby's grand turkey club

open the box up, and we find with a giant turkey sandwich just waiting to burst out. it’s all packed in there, with good amounts of everything. a solid amount of turkey, enough to satisfy my hunger. nice, crisp lettuce, and fresh tomato, playing a big part in the overall feel of the sandwich. decent slices of bacon. probably some swiss cheese. and a full bucket of mayo.

mayonnaise everywhere

oh god. yeah. there’s a lot of mayonnaise here. now, i’ve gone to great lengths to make it known that i do not care for mayonnaise, but i can tolerate it. i believe there was too much mayonnaise on here even for a lover of mayonnaise. it was the first taste you noticed. it was almost the only taste you noticed. and it really took away from my enjoyment of this sandwich.

but let’s assume, for the sake of a fair review, that this sandwich was never intended to have so much mayonnaise on it. taking it for what it is, the sandwich is not bad. their toppings are decent (good lettuce and tomato, decent pepper bacon). the swiss cheese was all but lost behind the mayo, which is disappointing. the bun was actually a very solid choice, playing a bit sweet against the turkey.

and the turkey itself? it was good. it was not great. it was not bad by any means. good turkey. tender, with good flavor. a bit salty, not overwhelmingly so. but nothing special. i did not detect any exciting seasoning, nothing mind blowing. it was just turkey.

don't

they politely request you try the turkey. you would not be worse off for it. but what this boils down to, for me, is that the turkey is not good enough by itself to convince me to go to arby’s. it does not change what arby’s is to me. for me, it is just another menu item. and, speaking as someone who loves arby’s roast beef sandwiches (RIP big montana!!), the presence of turkey as an option is not going to change my order from whichever sandwich they can pack the most roast beef onto. all i want from arby’s is a pile of roast beef on a warm, pillowy bun, doused in a packet of arby’s sauce.

as with the old logo, all i want from arby’s is simplicity, and what i’ve grown to love them for. aaaaaaaand maybe a talking oven mitt.

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Arby’s Angus Three Cheese & Bacon

Posted by Tampa Bay Food Monster on May 2, 2011

i’m a bit late on this one. a bit a lot late. but that’s alright. we can’t all be perfect. maybe it’s time you lowered your expectations? you go through life expecting things of people, and you’ll only end up getting let down. especially by this review. and you don’t want that. you want this:

angus three cheese and bacon

so arby’s angus three cheese & bacon, first introduced in 1932, is arby’s attempt to get on the angus train. which, imho, is a much more appropriate choice than their original plan to get on the anus train. both popular choices, but one more family-friendly than the other. the sandwich features their super anus beef, which is similar to their regular beef, but decidedly more tender, moist, and better seasoned. just like an anus. also, the texture is a bit different from their normal roast beef, as you can see in the photo. it’s like we’re playing a whole different ball game here. top it off with three different types of cheese (swiss cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, and a parmesan peppercorn ranch sauce) and some thick-cut pepper bacon, toss it on an “italian style roll”, and you’ve got yourself an anus worth eating.

somehow this sandwich works so damn well. it really blew me away. the anal beef is very good, significantly different from their regular beef. and the roll holds up to it well. i don’t know if they used something different than they usually use on their subs, but this bread was phenomenal. pillowy, warm, and chewy. it held its own against the rest of the flavors colliding into one another. the cheeses, which normally i’m not too into on a roast beef sandwich, blend together perfectly into a mess of delicious goo, and the bacon provides and occasional crisp texture and rich flavor to the sub. and they are balanced well by the roasted anus beef. it’s like the perfect storm of flavors. nothing is left behind, and each ingredient is a big player in the overall taste. my only complaint is that it is a bit salty. but what else do you expect with anus?

…and it makes one hell of a sandwich.

Posted in Fast Food, Food, Humor | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Arby’s NEW Jr. Buffalo Chicken Sandwich, Steakhouse Onion Rings, and Cinnamon Bites

Posted by Tampa Bay Food Monster on April 16, 2011

hello, harby’s. long time no eat. i missed you, baby! i missed you. i miss your 5 roast beef sandwiches for 5 dollars. i miss you now defunct “big montana“, and to a lesser extent, your giant roast beef sandwich. you may have changed a bit over the years, but you know what? you still serve up that great roast beef flavor i love so much.

hahaha oh arby’s. everyone loves you! or at least, everybody loves your patented beefwiches. that’s the only reason i ever stop by there. but it seems like in recent times they’re trying to expand their menu, adding items that are new and different and frightening to me. sometimes… sometimes even things that don’t have roast beef in them. i know. has the world gone mad?? yeah. yeah it has. oh man remember when they used that ridiculous oven mitt as a mascot? haha arby’s.

recent additions to the arby’s menu include such items as the angus three cheese and bacon, steakhouse onion rings, some zany cinnamon dessert, and even a buffalo chicken sangwich! wacky choices. well, at least one of them has beef. but how about the others? where do they rank in the ever growing world of arby’s?

let us find out. together.

arby's jr buffalo chicken sandwichpng

first up, the jr. buffalo chicken sandwich. for a buck. caught my attention immediately (i like wings!). and i had high hopes for a buck spicy chicken sandwich that made use of a sauce rather than a spicy chicken patty.

as it turns out, this thing is no competitor in the high-stakes world of hotty mcchickens. it… eh. it kinda sucked. it was small (hence the “junior”). the chicken itself was pretty good. kinda thin patty, but good quality. too bad it was covered in that lame “buffalo” sauce, which turned out to be just some simple vinegar based hot sauce. i could have thrown hot sauce on any chicken sandwich! i wanted buffalo! buffalo! they could have at least thrown some ranch on there… i feel like maybe that would have given it something interesting. or blue cheese. aw yeah. as it was, it was not worth the purchase. that dollar? wasted. a whole dollar! i’ll never recover financially!

arby's steakhoue onion rings

next are the honkin’ big steakhouse onion rings. this ain’t none of your weak-ass burger doodle onion rings. nah. this is like the onion rings you’ll only find in a high-class steakhouse. these are big. and salty. aww yeah. for two bucks, you get five or six of these things, which are almost big enough to make up for the fact that there are so few of them. actually, i wasn’t even able to finish them! but that wasn’t because of their massive size – it was due to their saltiness, and the ratio of breading to onion. inside these giant things were tiny, slimy rings of onion. but i could see splitting the five among a group of friends. one onion ring each and you’re done.

arby's cinnamon bites

last and possibly least are the outside-in cinnamon bites. three for a buck. and these things truly are a mystery. half cream cheese. half cinnamon… slime. all nasty. the two sides were definitely very distinct in taste. the cinnamon stuff tasted just like cinnamon, but not so intensely that you passed out or vomited or anything. unless you looked at it too long. the cream cheese was supposed to be sweet, but was mostly just rich. gross. it was like when something is sickeningly sweet, but without the positives of the sweet. it was kinda just disgusting. but the flaky crust pastry shell was really good! i would have loved for them to use it as a conveyance for fruit fillings. the world was never looking for a cinnamon/cream cheese combination (why didn’t they just use icing?). that being said, i do believe these would be ideal for chucking at your neighbor’s house or any authority figure you’ve taken issue with. especially when hot. i recommend you do that. i’m sure arby’s does too.

so yeah this was a wasted visit to arby’s, once again reassuring me that the only thing señor arby is good for is roast beef related goodness. luckily for him, he’s very good at that.

NEXT TIME: i do battle with arby’s ferocious angus three cheese and bacon! does this new spin on their old classic work? does so-called angus beef actually mean anything at all? can i resist calling it “anus beef” instead of “angus beef”?? tune in to find out!

Posted in Fast Food, Food, Humor | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »