Tampa Bay Food Monster

…eating food since 1985.

Red Rock Premium Fruit Punch

Posted by Tampa Bay Food Monster on June 1, 2011


red rock fruit punch

what is this shit? fruit punch?? that soda’s not brown. that’s a kid’s drink. FOR KIDS. only babies drink fruit punch.

…i stand corrected. somehow i forgot that the most violent mascot in marketing history loves fruit punch. this guy can’t get enough of it! and i have a feeling that if you talked any shit about fruit punch, he’d let you know how he feels about it. WITH HIS FISTS. and there’s no question in my mind that this guy is a raging alcoholic. he’s clearly a loose cannon, who i’d prefer not to mess around with. so i go into this review cautiously… because, truth be told, i’m not a big fan of fruit punch. shhh…

so what is this soda all about? red rock makes this stuff, a company which had a long history making cola and ginger ale, but is now owned by skynet wannabe sensient technologies. basically, robots make this soda. which could explain a lot – there is nothing very special about this drink; no humanity. it tastes exactly how you might expect it to taste. it has a light, generic fruit punch flavor that comes out mostly on the finish, probably due to the nice amount of carbonation you are met with up front. it is mildly sweet (using sugar, which is a plus), and has a cleaner taste than a store bought gallon jug of brand-x fruit punch, but all you’re really getting here is an uninteresting soda unworthy of its name. and it’s got that same strange popsicle stick flavor that nehi orange has. peculiar.

not awful, but i probably wouldn’t buy it again. don’t tell punchy.


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